Even though you know you should not be yelling at your kids, they always seem to find a way to irritate you to the point that you just cannot stop yelling at the top of your lungs. It natural for mums to find them in such situations. Sometimes, a child unknowingly pushes your buttons and ends up dealing with a yelling mum. It is also natural to feel upset, drained, and frustrated after such episodes, but you do not know how to stop yelling at your kids. Let’s find it out now!
How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids
For starters, you need to understand that it is not going to help when you yell at your kids. You need to find other ways to get your point across and make your kids listen to you better. Here are some strategies that may help you be in control of those situations when things feel to go out of hand.
Take Your Time
Instead of reacting to anything immediately, take your time. Wit for at least 10 minutes, and if you are still upset, it is even better to wait for 24 hours than to start yelling at your kids. Talk with your child about whatever he has done wrong when you are calm and composed. In most cases, you yell not only because of something your child has done but your reaction is to something else that may have been bothering you for days. Do not let your stress hurt your child.
Learn to Disengage
Make a conscious effort to disengage yourself from the situation. Sometimes, counting to ten before responding to the situation helps put you in a better frame of mind. Alternatively, you can go into a different room, start doing something else, or do something that takes your mind off from the situation for a while. This keeps you from overreacting to minor things.
Identify Your Triggers
It is important to know your triggers, and once you identify them, you will notice that they are certainly not that rational either. Knowing what sets you off help you make rules about it and handle things better. Sometimes, it could be as simple as keeping the feet on the couch or making a mess in the living room. Whatever it is, spend some time learning what you should be doing in those situations to respond in a better way.
Learn Why You Feel Upset about Certain Things
Identifying your triggers really helps you make a better plan going forward. Once you know what sets you off, you may also want to learn why you feel like that in the first place. Sometimes, you yell because the behavior of your child make you feel helpless or unsure of yourself. Do you feel scared or feel out of control when your child stops listening to you? Whatever the fears, write them down and find logical ways to tackle them.
Have Realistic Expectations
You cannot learn how to stop yelling at your kids if you do not learn how to keep your expectations of parenting reasonable and realistic. Understand that it is okay to be imperfect at times. There will be situations when it feels you are not capable of handling the job of parenting. Do not let it take control of your nerves. You may even consider talking to a friend about your situation. Just be sure to remind yourself that no one can be perfect at the job of parenting – you just have to keep trying to be the best.
Never Get Into Power Struggles
You should do everything you can to avoid getting into a pattern of negative interactions with your kids. You should not react quickly to anything, and even if you do, do not make another move in response to your child’s reactivity. This will lead to a battle of wills that is only going to make matters worse. Disengage and have realistic expectations of your child. Focusing more on your child’s strength usually helps a lot.
Stop Worrying about the Future
It is common for parents to feel concerned about their child’s future. However, you should not let scary mental images of your child form in your head. Some moms are big worriers, and they unconsciously feel that they might be able to prevent something bad happening to their kids by thinking too much about those things. You should stop futurizing, and if you cannot, be sure to replace negative images with visions of safe, happy outcomes for your kids.
Exercise Regularly to Stay Fit
Parenting is a tough job with lots of mental stress involved. You can keep your sanity by finding ways to release your stress. Exercise is one perfect way to overcome stress. Anything like yoga, walking, meditation, visualization, mindfulness, and breathing exercises may help. Simply close your eyes and take deep breaths. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Keep your focus on breathing to feel better. Only 15 minutes a day devoted to exercise can make a huge difference.
Avoid Repeating the Same Thing
Avoid being a repeater just in an effort to make your kids obey you. You have to take other disciplinary measures instead of yelling and repeating the command that your child refuses to follow. Understand that there is no need to raise your voice, and it is never going to help anyway. Just be patient and keep trying!
Be Serious about It
You can learn how to stop yelling at your kids only when you are serious about it. You have to hold yourself accountable for not following your own rules. Talk to a friend or a family member for support and encouragement. It also helps to have a chart to record how many times you raise your voice in a day. You can be more serious about not yelling when you actually see your faults on paper.