Sometimes you may not feel like going to school or work and need a good reason to stay home. You may even need a good reason to get out of plans or going to an engagement with friends. Whatever the reason, knowing how to fake being sick can help when you just don’t have any other excuse. This article will help you learn how to fake certain illnesses and make people think you are really sick.
5 Kinds of Common Sickness and How to Fake Them
Respiratory viruses are probably the easiest illnesses to fake. Here are some ways to make people think you are sick with a cold or the flu:
- Do not breathe through your nose to make it sound stuffy.
- Carry and use tissues, wiping your nose frequently to make it look runny.
- Use tissues in bed and leave them on the floor next to where you sleep.
- Talk about your achiness and complain of a headache.
- Bundle up and pretend you have the “chills”. Cover yourself with extra blankets.
- Fake sneeze and then wipe your nose with tissue.
- Pinch your lips and stretch the skin on them to make them appear dry.
- Rub your nose briskly to simulate redness and inflammation.
Vomiting or having the “stomach flu” can also be pretty easy to fake. It’s on our “how to fake being sick” guide because if someone hears you have the stomach flu, they definitely won’t want you in their presence and most likely make you stay home. Here are some ways to fake vomiting:
- Complain of nausea and stomach pain. Say you don’t feel well the evening before, but don’t fake vomiting just yet.
- When you are ready, run to the bathroom and stick your finger down the back of your throat and wiggle it. Do not use this technique too often, you can drop your electrolytes and actually make yourself sick.
- Try making some “fake” vomit. Mix together oatmeal and water until really soft and thin. Place it in a cup in the bathroom. Go in and pretend to vomit and dump the oatmeal solution in the toilet, sink, or tub.
A headache has no outward appearances, so complaining of head pain is usually very believable. To make people think you have a headache, you only need to:
- Rub your head with your hands every few minutes while looking down. Keep your eyes closed and pretend to be bothered by talking or noise.
- Act like you are sensitive to the light. Tell people to turn lights off and stay in a dark room. You can also cover your eyes with a wet cloth. This will make people think you have a migraine.
- Make it look like you get irritated or annoyed easily. Tell people to be quiet and turn the volume down on TVs and radios when other people are using them. Pretend to get annoyed with people when they ask you to do something that would make a headache worse, like physical activity.
- Go to bed earlier than you normally do. Do not move around too much and complain of pain when you stand up too fast. Take a nap midday if you don’t normally sleep during daytime hours.
4. Sore Throat
A sore throat may be a bit harder to fake, but still can be done. You can:
- Breathe through your mouth to dry out your throat. This may help it look red and irritated. Do not drink too much a few hours before you want to fake a sore throat.
- Do not eat in front of anyone. When you have a sore throat it hurts to swallow so you eat less.
- Use red throat lozenges to stain your throat red.
- Make funny faces when you swallow food or drinks. Talk in a low tone of voice and sip your drinks, do not gulp them down.
- Complain of throat scratchiness, pain or say if feels like broken glass is in your throat.
- Pick at your food and complain of stomach cramps.
- If you do eat, run to the bathroom grabbing your lower abdomen and say you are cramping. Stay in the bathroom for about 15 minutes, then come out and lay down while still holding your stomach.
- Go back to the bathroom again after about 10 minutes and stay in there for a while.
- Keep repeating trips to the bathroom while holding your lower stomach.
- Only sip water and take small bites of food.
Tips for How to Fake Being Sick
Use memories of illnesses. Recall your memories of what it felt like when you actually had a certain illness. If you can channel the feelings you are trying to portray, you will pass it off much easier.
Keep up the act for a few days. If you are truly sick, there aren’t going to be any miracles for a recovery the day after. Pretend you still aren’t feeling well for the next couple of days.
Clear your internet browser. If you are looking up information on how to fake being sick, make sure you clear your internet browser to keep others from seeing what you were really up to.
Keep faking to a minimum. If you fake being sick too often, you may cause true concern for your health or minimize your credibility. You may even be taken to the doctors for a shot or unnecessary lab tests.
How to Fake Being Sick with Makeup
If you ever need to know how to make yourself appear sick, either to fake an illness or maybe for a school play, here are some makeup tips you can use:
- Use pale eyeshadow colors like white, yellow, light pink, and gray.
- Use the white and/or yellow to cover all of the skin on your face and neck.
- Place a little gray under your eyes to create bags.
- Use the light pink around your nose to make it look like you have been blowing your nose.